Each week, The CFL Inquisitor sends beat reporter Norm DePlume across the country to ask the league's owners some burning questions.

This week, Shreveport owner Raven Hawk, is on the clock for Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[bbdde941]#10[/bbdde941]: Who is the biggest surprise on the Pride's offense this year? Defense?

"On offense it's hard to say. On offense there are really two players who have stepped up and surprised Coach Peterson. The first is RB Dale Farrar who has taken his role of backup to a new level. Farrar is averaging 5.18 yards per carry, with 5 TD's in his backup role. A bigger surprise, however, is WR Ernest Castillo, who was a last minute signing just prior to camp after 7th round pick Ernie Sutton failed to impress during rookie camp. Castillo came in and has had an excellent year as the third wide receive scoring 4 TD's, including a memorable 73 yard TD scamper off of a 3 yard slant against division and state rivals New Orleans.

On defense, FS William Saleh has been the key to the defense this year. True, it's hard to ignore the talent of DT Jerald Barber and MLB Joshua Mask, but Saleh has been floating between SS and FS this season covering for SS Horace Shuck who has been plagued with injuries. Saleh has grabbed 3 INT's along with 9 passes defende and 53 tackles thus far. One interception was returned 71 yards for a TD. You gotta love it when the defense scores points."

[bbdde941]#9[/bbdde941]: Which victory was your favorite? Why?

"It's gotta be against the New Orleans Breakers at home. The Pride ended up winning the game 27-20, thanks in large part to Ernest Castillo. At this point the Pride was 3-3 and coming off their by week. By beating the Breakers, the Pride took over 1st place in the Deep South division and hasn't looked back."

[bbdde941]#8[/bbdde941]: What is your game day ritual?

"Dexter Bleeck has a particularly interesting ritual of putting on Rodrick Clark's shoes, going out to the 50 yard and doing 53 jumping jacks (Rodrick's jersey number). Perhaps he's trying to get ready to fill Roddie's shoes when he finally retires."

[bbdde941]#7[/bbdde941]: Boxers, briefs, or jockstrap?

"Briefs. You gotta let the boys breathe."

[bbdde941]#6[/bbdde941]: How far will the Pride go this year?

"I believe that the longest trip that we will make this year is from Shreveport to Boise this weekend when we play the Stampede. That's roughly about 1800 miles, Norm."

[bbdde941]#5[/bbdde941]: What or who will be the key to getting that far?

"[ibdde941](Laughing)[/ibdde941] Joey, our charter plane pilot. No, in reality, the key to our success this season will be hanging squarely on the shoulders of Douglas Hartman. If he can continue playing the way he has for the last two weeks, we've got a good shot to go all the way. However, there are some tough teams in the conference, including a resurgent Hartford."

[bbdde941]#4[/bbdde941]: What was your most memorable celebration this year?

"Unfortunately all the good celebrations, I can't remember . . . However, one that sticks in my craw is the New York Knights celebration on our home field after they beat us by one point. I tell you, I show that tape to our boys before every game to get them motivated. We've been 7-1 since that episode. That was totally obnoxious and uncalled for. After all, what the hell was Matt Rosa thinking when he did that?"

[bbdde941]#3[/bbdde941]: Who leads the team in arrests?

"Just like all the clubs professional clubs, we've had our problems. One of the reasons that I brought Coach Peterson in was his demeanor. Coach Walsh was too strict of a disciplinarian and he didn't understand today's players. Coach Peterson gets them and has done a great job with former first-rounder Brady Scott who, as you may recall, had some problems with hittin' the ladies."

[bbdde941]#2[/bbdde941]: If you could bed one guy's wife on the team, who's wife would it be? Totally off the record of course and girlfriends count too.

"Stricly off the record, of course. I think that Mrs. Wisdom has some insight into what to do in bed . . . Besides, when you're the King of the Jungle, baby, you gotta have some jungle fever."

[bbdde941]And Norm's #1 burning question[/bbdde941]: Would you sleep with me for $1 million? Your not gay as long as you don't push back.

"A year ago, I might have taken you up on that offer, considering The Pride's financial problems, but this year, I have to hold to my morals. Sorry, Norm."

Next up on the clock, Seattle's Aylmar and San Antonio's Shooter. Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.

Very good!!!

_________________

Dammit, Norm! You said that you weren't going to publish that thing about me wanting to sleep with Chris Wisdom's wife!

(On the bright side, she called me last night . . .)

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

Brilliant! Good work, folks...

_________________


El Paso Rockets
2016, 2037 Wild Card Team
2005, 2006, 2015 Cavalry Divison champs

I love this stuff!

Great Stuff

_________________
omaha arrowheads

JJ Smitty's Record
Atlantic Division Champions - 2007, 2008, 2010, 2018, 2020, 2021, 2028, 2035, 2037, 2039, 2044, 2046, 2047
Eastern Conference Champions - 2008, 2039, 2047
CFL Champions - 2008, 2039, 2047

Today, Stingers owner Shooter, is on the clock for Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[b3d918a2]#10[/b3d918a2]: Who is the biggest surprise on the Stingers' offense this year?

"That's a tough call Norm. Our offense has been, well, offensive to be blunt. If I had to single someone out it would have to be Greg Carley. In a shortened season due to injury, he's shown some flashes behind our #1 guy Stearns. So far, he's justified that contract we gave him."

Defense?

"Michael Hubbard. This kid is turning into a special player in San Antonio. He's almost doubled his stats from last year in quite a few categories which includes interceptions and passes defensed. Those numbers don't show how much pain he inflicts in the middle of the secondary either. Receivers will be thinking twice before coming over the middle when they see #31 out there Norm."

[b3d918a2]#9[/b3d918a2]: Which victory was your favorite? Why?

"New York in week six. We went down 13-0 at the half and then the rook played some ggod ball to get us back in the game. He controlled the tempo got our tight ends involved in the passing game and fed Brumley in the second half. Did I mention that the defense shut the door in the second half."

[b3d918a2]#8[/b3d918a2]: What is your game day ritual?

"I'm not your typical fan Norm. Most fans like to wear the black and tan team colors on game day, sit back and enjoy the show. As for me, I'd rather drink the team colors and pray our offense has enough in them to score more points than the other team. That's what it all comes down to at the end of the day."

[b3d918a2]#7[/b3d918a2]: Boxers, briefs, or jockstrap?

"Hey, I've heard about your little 'Hide and go F#$@ yourself' game Norm. No further comment."

[b3d918a2]#6[/b3d918a2]: How far will the Stingers go this year?

"As far as rookie QB Eddie Crawford will take us. That may not be too far as long as he keeps seeing Bridgette Hall. I'm not worried too much about that though. I'm sure during training camp next year, the guys will send him the right message with a code red or something."

[b3d918a2]#5[/b3d918a2]: What or who will be the key to getting that far?

"Did I stutter?"

[b3d918a2]#4[/b3d918a2]: What was your most memorable celebration this year?

"Our opening day win seems to come to mind. At least from what I can remember. Somehow I recall that quite a few members found there way to Vegas as part of that. I heard rumors about an altercation between a few of our guys and a few of the Las Vegas Rounders in the airport on the way in. Hey...what's that saying again. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

[b3d918a2]#3[/b3d918a2]: Who leads the team in arrests?

"That would be Ted Kight. You see, he has a bit of a hearing problem. When he hears someone calling his last name and he hears something a bit different. Now that wouldn't normally be an issue excpet that he is of the Jewish faith and well let's just say he's had his share of assault charges brought up against him. We're trying to get him to steer that anger towards opposing linebackers, Norm."

[b3d918a2]#2[/b3d918a2]: If you could bed one guy's wife on the team, who's wife would it be? Totally off the record of course and girlfriends count too.

"That's an easy one Norm. Bridgette Hall. But then again, who hasn't had that fantasy."

[b3d918a2]And Norm's #1 burning question[/b3d918a2]: Would you sleep with me for $1 million? Your not gay as long as you don't push back.

"I'll let you refer to my answer of question number seven for that one Norm. Besides I have an image to upkeep here and I can't be causing any controversy on this team right now. That's my players' job."

Next up on the clock, Seattle's Aylmar, Detroit's Triple-F, El Paso's JeeberD, and Tampa Bay's Wademoore. Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.

Today, T-Birds owner Aylmar, is on the clock for Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[b7c47570]#10[/b7c47570]: Who is the biggest surprise on the Thunderbirds' offense this year?

Charles Dever, no question. He's been a spark for us. He's carried us to victory.

Defense?

James "The Savior" Crist has been a monster playmaker for us this year on a defense that just bleeds yards through the air. Other than our ability to pick off the occasional pass, it's like we're healing salve for our opponents passing attack.

[b7c47570]#9[/b7c47570]: Which victory was your favorite? Why?

I love them all. The ones we've been getting recently have been really nice, though. You know, it's like we aren't sneaking up on teams anymore. When you've won nine out of twelve, you know people have stopped taking you lightly.

[b7c47570]#8[/b7c47570]: What is your game day ritual?

Well, first I have to go by Dever's room and clear out all the strippers, cheerleaders, and various other women. I tell you, Norm, the guy is on fire. The last three seasons, when he sucked, he struck out more than Sammy Sosa. Now...he can't miss. Amazing what 23 touchdown passes will do for you, eh? Lucky bastard.

[b7c47570]#7[/b7c47570]: Boxers, briefs, or jockstrap?

Boxers, for the most part. Before you ask, no, you can't "borrow" a pair.

[b7c47570]#6[/b7c47570]: How far will the Birds go this year?

I think we're looking pretty good for a playoff spot. Look, to get a little serious here, we've been outplaying our talent this year in my mind. Our defense needs some help. We've got some decent ballhawks in the secondary, but we need to give them a little bit better pass rush.

[b7c47570]#5[/b7c47570]: What or who will be the key to getting that far?

If we get into the playoffs, it will be because of Dever and The Savior, no doubt in my mind.

[b7c47570]#4[/b7c47570]: What was your most memorable celebration this year?

After we beat Anchorage in our first game, Dever walks into this strip joint and shouts. "I've got a boxcar full of whale blubber and a shitload of twenties. Who's with me?" The women just swarmed. Of course, we all think he's kidding, right? But no...the bastard had a whalebone bed brought into his hotel room and coated the floor (and the rubber sheets) with whale oil. Whew...the fallout from that one was pretty intense. Four or five of those girls are being treated by our medical staff to this day. Slipping on whale oil over a hardwood floor sucks, I guess.

[b7c47570]#3[/b7c47570]: Who leads the team in arrests?

I don't ask, and they don't tell me. It's better that way, really. Keeps morals from getting in the way of winning football games.

[b7c47570]#2[/b7c47570]: If you could bed one guy's wife on the team, who's wife would it be? Totally off the record of course and girlfriends count too.

Oh man, that's a tough one. I'd probably take Styblo's wife, though. I mean, he's a kicker. How great of an example can he possibly set? I mean, I might not be able to use my feet as well as he can, but that shouldn't matter, should it? Hmm, unless he kicks her tits for foreplay or something. I'll stick with it...Styblo.

[b7c47570]And Norm's #1 burning question[/b7c47570]: Would you sleep with me for $1 million? Your not gay as long as you don't push back.

Do I still get paid if you're premature? Wait, wait, button your shirt back up. The answer is no. Talk to me next year. I'll probably need that million for Dever's new contract.

Next up on the clock, Detroit's Triple-F, El Paso's JeeberD, and Tampa Bay's Wademoore. Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.

[quoteb46f560]
I mean, I might not be able to use my feet as well as he can, but that shouldn't matter, should it? Hmm, unless he kicks her tits for foreplay or something[/quoteb46f560]

I think Norm's little forays may make it mandatory that we set up QOTM here at the CFL. This quote is an early favorite.

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

Today, Detroit owner Triple-F, is under fire from Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[b08ade24]#10[/b08ade24]: Which player do you think Detroit could submit as an MVP candidate?

"None. No player stands out, it's all a team effort, baby!"

[b08ade24]#9[/b08ade24]: Who's got the most pimped out ride on the team?

"Well, our reserve punter, Julio Riley, has got this beautiful girlfriend, she's got dark hair down to her pretty ass, and those lovely blue eyes which would melt all the ice in the North Pole... oh wait, you meant 'car', didn't you?"

[b08ade24]#8[/b08ade24]: Which loss was your toughest to get over? Why?

"I nearly answered Hartford, because it's the latest and freshest in my mind. But looking back, it's gotta be vs Honolulu last season in the CFL Bowl. That was heartbreaking."

[b08ade24]#7[/b08ade24]: Leather or Latex?

"Neither. Geisha balls all the way! "

[b08ade24]#6[/b08ade24]: What position do you think will need to be addressed in free agency next year? The draft?

"Doggy style. Either that, or a good ol' fashionned 69. Oh and of course, everybody in the league knows about the sorry state of the Vampires's receiving 'corpse', so that will definitely need to be adressed both via the draft and FA. Problem is, no decent WR seems to want to come and live in Detroit."

[b08ade24]#5[/b08ade24]: What makes Detroit attractive for potential free agents?

"That's my problem really. It's cold as hell here, and not really a nice town. So I can understand all these star players wanting to play in all those warm places like Honolulu or El Paso, or cultural (*gasp*) cities like New York or LA. I really have a hard time selling Detroit as a nice place to live. Hell, if truth be told, I myself have never even set foot in the Motor City!!! "

[b08ade24]#4[/b08ade24]: Who's been busted the most for farting in the trainer's whirlpool?

"Eh. Someone who was with us last season, wideout John Gunter. Even though he had an outstanding season for us and definitely helped us reach the CFL Bowl, we just had to let him go because none of the other guys would even go near the trainer's room when he was in it. I actually found it hilarious that he went on to sign with the Denver Dynomite...hmm, wonder if that explains their average season... "

[b08ade24]#3[/b08ade24]: Looking back on training camp, what one thing would you spend more time on? Less time?

"Shit, do you mean you can actually remember what you did in training camp? I sure can't! In fact, traning camp's a portion of the game of football I've never really enjoyed and I sure wish God Jim made it a bit more fun!"

[b08ade24]#2[/b08ade24]: If you could have one guy on the team bed your wife, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and you can count me as on the team.

"Now, that's an easy question. Our star tight end, Brian Manos. The guy's an abslute stud on the field, and off the field too, if you know what I mean and I'm sure that you do. He really does have a tight ass, err i mean end. The guy's a hunk, and i'd even jump in if i caught him in bed with my wife. In fact, I'd love it if Brian had 53 babies with my wife, I could field an awesome Vampire team in 25 years! CFL Bowl IXXX, here we come!!!"

[b08ade24]And Norm's #1 burning question[/b08ade24]: If you had to choose between being Shreveported in the CFL Bowl game or being gang raped by the losing team after you won it, which would you choose? Remember, you're not gay as long as you don't push back.

"Ooh, tough one. But, considering I was already Shreveported once in the CFL Bowl last season by Honolulu, I would grudgingly have to go with the gang rape option...Amazing what an owner would do to make his team win, eh?"

Next up on the clock, El Paso's JeeberD and Tampa Bay's Wademoore. Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.

Today, El Paso owner JeeberD, is under fire from Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[bae5744c]#10[/bae5744c]: Which player do you think El Paso could submit as an MVP candidate?

I really don't want to use one of the oldest cliche's in the book, Norm, but it REALLY has been a team effort this season. Everyone has been playing well for us with no one person standing out. However, if I was forced to name an MVP I would have to pick Pierre Hinson. The man is having a monster year with 56 tackles from the DE spot as well as 24 hurries and 10.5 sacks, which is second in the league. Without him, I think our feared defense would be merely average...

[bae5744c]#9[/bae5744c]: Who's got the most pimped out ride on the team?

That's easily Terrell Keith. After we gave him a nice new contract earlier in the year he got himself a new ride and took it to those crazy dudes who do that show on MTV. You know that Terrell is originally from Hawaii, right? Well, he got his entire Escalade done in a Hawaiian motif. He has a gold hula dancer on his dash, pineapple print suede interior, all kinds of crazy shit. He even managed to get them to make bamboo spinners for his wheels!

[bae5744c]#8[/bae5744c]: Which loss was your toughest to get over? Why?

That's easily our loss to our biggest rival, Fargo. They had dominated us for so long but we finally managed to turn the corner and sweep them last year. And yes, while Fargo is playing good ball this year we still feel we're the better team, but I gameplanned the game entirely wrong and they wound up crushing us.

Revenge will be ours, however...

[bae5744c]#7[/bae5744c]: Leather or Latex?

Leather, by far. Latex sticks to your skin and pulls on your body hair. Plus, when you've got the physique that I do, you don't exactly wan't to show off every contour of your body...

Plus, there's nothing quite like wearing ass-less chaps and having your woman whip you like you've been a bad, bad boy!

[bae5744c]#6[/bae5744c]: What position do you think will need to be addressed in free agency next year? The draft?

I think we're pretty set at most positions, though we could probably use a little help in the seconday, like most of the teams in the league. However, we are currently $40 million over the cap so I don't know if we'll be able to go after anybody in the first place. Hopefully we'll be able to pull off some creative renegotiations...

[bae5744c]#5[/bae5744c]: What makes El Paso attractive for potential free agents?

First off, the Mexican food alone makes this place worth living. I've eaten Mexican food all over the country, but there's nowhere that can compare to El Paso for overall Mexican food quality...

Secondly, this is a great football town. It wasn't always this way, though. When Mike Price came in and turned around the perennially losing UTEP team, he changed the attitude of the citizens here. I mean, can you imagine the city voting for a 100,000 seat college stadium back in the nineties? It's amazing what back-to-back NCAA championships will do for a city.

Third, the cost of living is dirt cheap. With as much money as the players are making they live like kings here. The mountains are dotted with their massive mansions.

And finally, crossing the border into Juarez for a little drink-and drown with the college kids. $15 and all you can drink for the rest of the night. It's simply great...uhhh...not that I approve of my players doing that, of course.

[bae5744c]#4[/bae5744c]: Who's been busted the most for farting in the trainer's whirlpool?

Our third round pick Bart DiStefano is the gassiest man I've ever met. I think all he's eaten since he came down to El Paso is the great Mexican food, and you can tell. I think he creates more bubbles in the whirlpool than the pool's jets actually do!

[bae5744c]#3[/bae5744c]: Looking back on training camp, what one thing would you spend more time on? Less time?

I wish we would have worked on the passing game a little bit more. Ernest Lorenzo got off to a very slow start this year and is just now finally hitting his stride. I think we could have won at least two of the games that we lost if we could have hit the open receivers.

I think we spent a bit too much time working on our run defense. It was already very good, and there really wasn't much room for improvement in that area. Pretty much wasted time, if you ask me...

[bae5744c]#2[/bae5744c]: If you could have one guy on the team bed your wife, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and you can count me as on the team.

Matt Schumann is one sexy bitch, and I would be proud to have him boink the little lady. Of course, the fact that he's gay makes it a moot poi...uhh...you did say this was off the record, right?!?!

[bae5744c]And Norm's #1 burning question[/bae5744c]: If you had to choose between being Shreveported in the CFL Bowl game or being gang raped by the losing team after you won it, which would you choose? Remember, you're not gay as long as you don't push back.

Oh, no question, getting gang raped by the losing team. After all, you never can be sure you're going to make it back to the big game again. Plus, I think I might be able to talk a certain linebacker into taking my spot...

Next up on the clock, Tampa Bay's Wademoore. Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.

Update: Norm was spotted boarding a United flight headed for Colorado...

Good stuff! Matt Schumann is, in fact, one sexy bitch. At least, that's what People Magazine says.

_________________

Deep South Division Champions
2006, 2009-10, 2019, 2023-24, 2027, 2031-32, 2034-35, 2040, 2044, 2046-47, 2051-53, 2055-56, 2058-62
Eastern Conference Champions
2009, 2031, 2055
CFL Champions
2031, 2055
Hall of Fame
Joshua Mask, Douglas Hartman, Carl Bradford, Leland Wellins, Wally Wooden (#80), Brantley Gilmore (#9)

Today, Oregon owner Grid Iron, is under fire from Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[bef3af59]#10[/bef3af59]: Which player do you think has improved the most this year for Oregon?

No question, it's flanker Matt Brunner. He's already set career highs in receptions (84), receiving yards (1281) and TDs (9).

[bef3af59]#9[/bef3af59]: Who's the dumbest guy on the roster? What's the dumbest thing he's done this year?

I gotta say it's me. I moved an All-Pro quality FB (Tracey Woolery) to RB to help the running game, and his ratings went to sh*&. He's just taking up a roster spot now.

[bef3af59]#8[/bef3af59]: Who's your biggest rival? Why?

Stretch, owner of Anchorage. Because he made a kick-ass banner.

[bef3af59]#7[/bef3af59]: Left hand or right hand? You know, for collecting your thoughts...

Right handed, for sure. But left every once in a while for a change of pace. . .

[bef3af59]#6[/bef3af59]: Which player conflicts have gotten better/worse this year? Affinities?

I was worried when I saw that wide receiver Kendrick Dillon had a strong affinity for Matt Brunner, but it turned out to just be a mild crush. Not there's anything wrong with that. . .

[bef3af59]#5[/bef3af59]: Which stadium do you dread playing in? Look forward to playing in?

I don't really dread playing in any stadium. However, I do look forward to playing in whatever stadium the CFL Bowl is held this year!

[bef3af59]#4[/bef3af59]: Who was the target for the best prank this year? Prank details?

The entire CFL. All of the Madden Mods I've posted contain a worm virus that has allowed me free access to all of the owner's personal computers. Not only have I been able to alter my opponents' gameplans and exports, but I've stolen the identities of five owners so far! Thanks for the World of Warcraft Collector's Edition ($275), Wademoore!

[bef3af59]#3[/bef3af59]: How would you evaluate your Staff this year? Scouting department?

My penis is in pretty good shape. The infection went away pretty quick after the doc gave me the antibiotics. As for scouting, I'm always on the lookout for hotties. . .

[bef3af59]#2[/bef3af59]: If you could bed one guy on the team, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and I'm not on the team.

If you mean my football team, it would be Teddy Woodard, no question. I like 'em small (5'8"). If you mean "The Team", JeeberD, no question. I like 'em nerdy.

[bef3af59]And Norm's #1 burning question[/bef3af59]: If you had to choose between being Shreveported in the CFL Bowl game or being gang raped by the losing team after you won it, which would you choose? Remember, you're not gay as long as you don't push back.

Is it really rape if you're into it?

Next up on the clock, Denver's Varacel and Fargo's MC. Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.

Today, Denver owner Varacel, is under fire from Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[bb130e8b]#10[/bb130e8b]: Which player do you think has improved the most this year for Denver?

I think QB Marcus Garibaldi is slowly going in the right direction (if you ignore the 3-pick game against El Paso last time up), but G Renaldo Browning has turned in a solid season as an emergency starter.

[bb130e8b]#9[/bb130e8b]: Who's the dumbest guy on the roster? What's the dumbest thing he's done this year?

I love RB John Lubin, but as he's just been ejected in the first quarter for punching aginst El Paso, he's probaly the winner at the minute.

[bb130e8b]#8[/bb130e8b]: Who's your biggest rival? Why?

El Paso for now. Will be interesting to see if we can both get under the cap for next year and still compete.

[bb130e8b]#7[/bb130e8b]: Left hand or right hand? You know, for collecting your thoughts...

Like to collect my thoughts with both hands, safer that way!

[bb130e8b]#6[/bb130e8b]: Which player conflicts have gotten better/worse this year? Affinities?

Back-up QB Roman Grigg can't stand star WR Curtis Plotkin, apart from that there is a lot of respect in the camp.

[bb130e8b]#5[/bb130e8b]: Which stadium do you dread playing in? Look forward to playing in?

We are an experienced team so don't mind playing anywhere. This season it's been more a player thing, with Fargo's Dwayne Bridges destroying us twice.

[bb130e8b]#4[/bb130e8b]: Who was the target for the best prank this year? Prank details?

Our lawyer says I can't talk about it at present.

[bb130e8b]#3[/bb130e8b]: How would you evaluate your Staff this year? Scouting department?

Coach Perryman is doing OK. We don't get alot of injuries, and we have improved on penalties no end this season.

The scouting department really need Garibaldi and CB Joel Sanderson to step it up next year or we could be looking to move in a different direction.

[bb130e8b]#2[/bb130e8b]: If you could bed one guy on the team, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and I'm not on the team.

John Lubin - his power inside is amazing.

[bb130e8b]And Norm's #1 burning question[/bb130e8b]: If you had to choose between being Shreveported in the CFL Bowl game or being gang raped by the losing team after you won it, which would you choose? Remember, you're not gay as long as you don't push back.

Being Shreveported

Next up on the clock, Santa Cruz's FastCat and Fargo's MC. Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.

[quote8f01a2c="Norm DePlume"][b8f01a2c]#2[/b8f01a2c]: If you could bed one guy on the team, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and I'm not on the team.

John Lubin - his power inside is amazing. [/quote8f01a2c]

LOL

Today, Santa Cruz owner FastCat, is under fire from Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

[b6425353]#10[/b6425353]: Which player do you think has improved the most this year for Santa Cruz?

Alec Johnson- really came through thus far with all-time career yards and should add catches,TD also by the end of season.

[b6425353]#9[/b6425353]: Who's the dumbest guy on the roster? What's the dumbest thing he's done this year?

Nolan Walker- only on roster for punt and kick returns but the guys intelligence rating is 1 cmon now, my labrador has an intelligence rating of 3 at least.

[b6425353]#8[/b6425353]: Who's your biggest rival? Why?

Sacremento- divison opponent, 2 hr drive away,easy rival. But look at HB and LB in our divison you want rival they are only 14 miles apart.

[b6425353]#7[/b6425353]: Left hand or right hand? You know, for collecting your thoughts...

Right of course- That is the hand I write with and if injured(used to much) I cannot write the checks to the players- They havent been all year.

[b6425353]#6[/b6425353]: Which player conflicts have gotten better/worse this year? Affinities?

Only one conflict and that is between Buster Trujillo and Andy Thom, I think they have come to an agreement, affinities there are many, but we have the dont ask,dont tell policy.

[b6425353]#5[/b6425353]: Which stadium do you dread playing in? Look forward to playing in?

Worst stadium- Honolulu- 0-2 record and too many girls in bikini's players just dont seem to be in the right mindset on the island. Best stadiums- LB and Sacramento- we are 3-1 at both stadiums lifetime.

[b6425353]#4[/b6425353]: Who was the target for the best prank this year? Prank details?

We squashed all pranksters early on when we were 1-4, with our expectations for this season we do not have time for that shit.

[b6425353]#3[/b6425353]: How would you evaluate your Staff this year? Scouting department?

The staff has done a mixed bag, the injury situation has been excellent this year with only 1 major injury all year, but they just cant seem to get the team motivated week in week out. Scouts have done a fine job.

[b6425353]#2[/b6425353]: If you could bed one guy on the team, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and I'm not on the team.

What the fuck! Everyone else gets to pick a wife and you want me to pick one of my players well fuck you!Daniel Cornejo(pronounced Corny-joe)

[b6425353]And Norm's #1 burning question[/b6425353]: If you had to choose between being Shreveported in the CFL Bowl game or being gang raped by the losing team after you won it, which would you choose? Remember, you're not gay as long as you don't push back.

Shrevported of course, we not into the gang bang thing.

Next up on the clock, the rest of the league! Be careful, next time you step off the field, Norm DePlume may ask you...a Burning Question.