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1. Hartford Attack (Masked)
Well this is an obvious choice for #1...four straight championships and counting. Gotta wonder: should QB Rico Fitzpatrick be a hall-of-famer with this 2 CFL Bowl MVP awards? This offense is as close to unstoppable as it gets...QB Gietka - 121 QB rating last season (oh, that's not even quite his career high), RB Tarzan Hernandez is a workhorse - 340+ carries during all 4 championship years and still going strong, rookie 6'8" TE Bob Solano, sigh...I could go on, but I have 31 more teams to do. Hartford is a clear #1 - the favorite to win it again.
2. Tucson Toros (Fonzie)
Gotta go with Tucson at #2...they won the Western Conference last season but fell to Hartford in the CFL Bowl. Tucson has won the Ring of Fire Division 9 straight times, they have made the playoffs for 25 consectutive years, but they haven't won a CFL Bowl since Kent Goodwin retired. They are still the best in the Western Conference and made some moves this offseason to keep them there: opened up the checkbook and gave DT Nathan Thornhil a $45M signing bonus, traded for WR Darrell Brandon from Durham, and they have two 1st round picks next season (their own plus Arizona's). QB Eugene Paulk had just under 5,000 yards passing last year and looks to hold off QB-of-the-future Dixon Judy for another year or two.
3. Denver Dynomite (Marven)
Tough decision here at #3 but Denver gets the spot. They defeated Texas and Death Valley in the playoffs last season before losing a heartbreaker to Tucson 31-28 in the Western Conference Championship game. Denver should win it's 3rd straight Cavalry Division title with some good competition from Fargo and Tulsa. The Dynomite had 5 picks in the first two rounds of the draft and took 2 LBs and 3 WRs. Last year's #1 pick (WR Wes Williams) had a solid rookie season with 73 catches for 967 yards and should improve those numbers in his sophomore year. Denver's defense will miss LB Dale Fletcher (traded to Death Valley) but their rookies should get the job done.
4. Detroit Vampires (BreizhManu)
QB Isaac Burgess (5,262 passing yards and 45 TDs in 2033) is healthy again and signed to a 3-year contract. QB Thurman Crane was drafted in the 1st round last year and looked good in his rookie season, winning 10 of his 13 starts. Me thinks Detroit will win their 7th straight Great Lakes Division crown with either QB behind center. Rookie RB Jeff Seymour looks like a steal in the 4th round. OLB Mark Seubert is a pass rushing specialist totalling 47.5 sacks in his first 5 seasons.
5. Death Valley Copperheads (Jander3456)
The roster ratings in-game show Hartford at #1 (big surprise) and Death Valley at #2 (not really a surprise when you look at the team). QB Michael Vanderjagt signed a huge contract extension that will pay him over $64 million over the next 3 years. RB Junior Wolfe was Offensive Player of the Year. DT Tracy "The Siege" Mosby has quietly put together one of the all-time great CFL careers and is back for his 12th season. The Copperheads won a competitive San Andreas Division in 2036 and have managed to keep the team together despite being right up against the salary cap.
6. Atlantic City Phantoms (rbeyer)
What? Atlantic City 6th? Yep, that's right. The game ranks them 3rd behind Hartford and Death Valley. Last year they struggled to a 6-10 record, but they did allow the fewest yards per game (only 284). Have you seen the trading this offseason? Atlantic City has been busy - 9 of their players have been acquired via trades. One of those players is QB Monty Lynch who looks to replace Rico Firth as the Phantoms starter.
7. Omaha Arrowheads (JJ Smitty)
It's getting tough to separate the next bunch of teams, but I'm going with Omaha at #7. Someone give RB Andrew Adamo his PED test! Suddenly he looks like Bart Godfrey out there! Omaha likes to run the ball, so expect lots of Adamo and Jeremy Meyer (over 1,500 rushing yards for 3 straight years) behind rookie LG Max Perroni (the league's strongest man). But defense is their real strength, led by LB Edwin Stoner, the Defensive Player of the Year. You'd think with all the games they've been winning that they'd be able to fill their seats, but even the cheapest tickets going aren't drawing the fans.
8. Durham Bulldogs (Taco)
Like I said, tough call separating this bunch of teams, and Durham could easily have been #7 as they did win the Atlantic Division with a gaudy 14-2 record last year. This might be the best team defense as the Bulldogs allowed less than 12 points per game last year led by all-world superhuman MLB Charles Shepard. On the offensive side they gave $28 million to veteran WR Winfred Cassity to leave Denver for Durham. Cassity gives QB Desmond Cobb (career highs in yards - 4,144, TDs - 36, and rating 107.6) another target on the outside besides WR Wayne Lett (1,280 receiving yards and 13 TDs).
9. Tulsa Talons (bbriders)
Tulsa at #9 - probably higher than most would rank them as they didn't make the playoffs last year. They fell apart late in the year after their big win at Denver when they were 8-2. But you gotta love a team built thru the draft (they drafted 44 of their 60 players) including a 2nd round punter last year, Quentin Godfrey. This year they had 4 of the first 52 picks and look like they hit on all 4. They have the talent to make Denver work for the Cavalry Division crown. QB J.B. Lynch threw for a career high 4,151 yards last season. FS Joey "The Assassin" Hopkins retired after 1 season in Tulsa (a free agent signing!) but no worries, they've got 2nd year FS Bill Kemp (a draft pick!) to replace him.
10. Tennessee Militia (Aamalin)
And closing out the top-10 is the Deep South Division champion, Tennessee. Finished 12-4 in 2036 with their only losses being to Shreveport (twice in the regular season, but won the wild card matchup to avoid the threep - just made that word up, I like it), Hartford, Denver, and Durham - all good teams. QB Emmanuel Cole is back, franchised again, and will make nearly $43 million in his 16th season. Rookie 2nd round draft pick WR Marshall Farber looked terrible in training camp, but 7th rounder MLB Damon Crawford looked great. Big matchup on opening day: at home facing....
11. Shreveport Pride (Raven Hawk)
It's fitting that Tennessee and Shreveport are ranked next to each other and face each other on opening day. Like QB Cole for Tennessee, Shreveport QB Marco Bennett is back for his 17th season at the age of 39. His favorite target is WR Wally "Deep" Wooden, 3-time fastest man who caught 100 balls for the 6th time in his career last year. He's on pace to move into the top 5 in career receptions and career receiving yards by the end of this season. Speaking of career records, DE Leland Wellins is now 2nd all-time in sacks with 104.5, trailing only Edwin Osborne (126.5 over 13 seasons with El Paso). And this just in....joining the team is RB Gino Kelly, just acquired from Ohio!
12. Texas Inferno (THIS TEAM NEEDS AN OWNER)
The Inferno has fallen to Denver in the wild card round the last two years. The year before that, 2034, they were winning the CFL Bowl against Hartford 26-24 with 3 minutes left, but ended up losing 31-26 as Tarzan Hernandez scored his 2nd TD of the game. If Texas had an owner that would stick with this team they could compete for the Western Conference title. QB Harry Reese is playing under the franchise tag ($20M salary) this year. His numbers were down in 2036 (missed 3 games due to injury). Reese and WRs Frank Morris and Kelvin Bell make this one of the league's most dangerous offenses. Their top two draft picks are still holding out: 1st round draft pick RT Jeremy Butler and 2nd round draft pick SLB Winfred Nekolny.
13. Santa Cruz Privateers (Fastcat)
Next up as we approach the middle of the pack is Santa Cruz, who quietly gained over 414 yards of offense per game last year - more than Hartford at 401. WR A.J. Martin is 5th all-time in yards per reception (16.55). QB Blaine Barrett has over 4,200 passing yards in each of the last 6 seasons and had a career high 39 TDs in 2036. The San Andreas Division is a tough one (#5 Death Valley and #12 Texas) and now #13 Santa Cruz. 3 teams in the top 13 - no teams from the Ring of Ice Division yet! It was only 5 seasons ago that Santa Cruz was CFL Champion, winning it all in 2032 by narrowly defeating Texas, Tucson, and Baltimore in the playoffs.
14. Seattle Spartans (citronvert)
Ok, I guess we need to mention the Ring of Ice division. Time to give props to my peeps in Seattle...do people really talk like that? Anyway, Seattle is a team on the rise - they made the playoffs last season, winning their first division title since 2024 when they won it with a 6-10 record!? They have a pair of stud offensive tackles in LT Mercury Eisner and former #1 overall pick RT Cole McQuistan. It will be their job to protect rookie QB Randall Diaz who was selected in the 1st round of the draft. The Spartans need a QB, so Diaz will probably start right away. He's got a good chance to win in what is probably the weakest division at the moment.
15. Boston Bees (Cotton)
Let's see how Cotton handles the pressure of a top-15 ranking with a team that's been 5-27 over the past two seasons. The Bees were big spenders in free agency as they rebuild the team that won a pair of CFL Bowls not too long ago. QB Marco Boese was given a $36 million signing bonus. WR John Yancy got a $10.5 million signing bonus and is the best of a old group of receivers. Expect a breakout season from RB Howie Knight - this guy can do it all - best back in the game today. Boston will take a big step forward this year - expect them to finish around .500 and then make the playoffs next year. Unfortunately, QB Moe Nelson (selected 13th overall) failed to impress anyone in training camp.
16. Fargo Sodbusters (surtt)
#16 - right in the middle is Fargo, right in the middle of nowhere. The Sodbusters have had 4 straight winning seasons and if that streak continues look for them to rise up these rankings. Fargo's best player is RB Reuben Chapman who has only fumbled 3 times over the past two seasons - that's over 700 touches! Chapman has over 7,000 rushing yards in 5 seasons - he should become the all-time lead rushing leader next year. In the passing game, WR John Yancy left for Boston after 12 years in Fargo. Bye bye 1,028 catches, 13,026 receiving yards, and 74 TDs. Filling that gap will be 2nd year receiver Mo McClennen, selected 24th overall in 2036. McClennen didn't see much action in his rookie year, but got some good experience in the summer league. I have a hunch that #16 is too low for Fargo - look for them to establish themself as a quality team this year.
17. San Antonio Stingers (Shooter)
I really struggled to place San Antonio, but decided that right in the middle was a safe place. At least I can't be completely wrong! Or can I? This team could be top-5. Or they can continue to underachieve and miss the playoffs for the 8th straight year. QB Gary Farr is arguably the most talented QB in the league, but he has lost more games than he has won. There's some bad locker room chemistry going on in San Antonio - conflicts with words like "strong" and "extreme". Hmmmm, that doesn't matter too much when you've got Farr and WR Frankie Parker (drafted #4 overall, 110 catches for 1,199 yards in his rookie year despite missing a game!) and WR Toby Hartman (drafted #3 overall in 2032, 101 catches for 1,331 yards last year). Oh, and they have a talented TE too (1st rounder Kenneth Apotsos). The Stingers are in intriguing team that looks good on paper but needs to produce on the field.
18. Brooklyn Brawlers (Dean Gullberry)
Poor Brooklyn, they are pretty good but they play in the same division as #1 Hartford, #6 Atlantic City, and #15 Boston. They could certainly be higher than #18. The Brawlers needed a QB and now they've got two: QB Tyrus Wheeler (acquired in a trade from Ohio) and QB Johnny Sherman (drafted in the 2nd round). Both look like promising options. WR Herb Carruthers is a speedster who doesn't show up high in the ratings lists, but man can he fly! Nice pickup in the 2nd last year. This year they got ILB Jamal Hodges who was a steal in the 5th round. Some good mid-round draft picks here makes for a solid roster. Brooklyn has a chance to finish 2nd in the division (does anyone really have a chance against Hartford this year?). Yeah, the more I look at this team the more I like it.
19. Las Vegas Rounders (TurfToe)
The Rounders franchise has been hanging around .500 recently and that trend looks like it will continue this season. The offense has added some weapons recently (1st round WRs taken in the last two drafts: Joseph Pike and Artie McKeefry). This makes sense looking at their roster, as the defense is already talented (led by DE Tom Harvey and his $117 million contract). If the Rounders had a QB then this team could be top-10. I just don't see QB Pat Springer (14 TDs, 11 INTs, 79.3 rating) being anything other than an average starting quarterback. This is a young team that has too much talent to be any lower than #19 overall.
20. Arizona Outlaws (veg2052)
At #20 we've got Arizona, another Ring of Fire team. The Outlaws won't have a 1st round pick next year as they traded it to division rival Tucson in order to draft RG Fred Burroughs. In the most recent draft they only made three picks, but all three project as long-term starters. RB J.T. Stargell was Offensive Rookie of the Year in 2036 with 1,471 rushing yards and 11 TDs. Just like Las Vegas, Arizona needs a QB (maybe Tucson should trade Dixon Judy to one of these teams?). They traded for QB Marvin Tubbs in the offseason. Tubbs went 1-15 for Atlanta last year. And then he held out briefly for a new contract. Yes, that's right - he threw for less than 3,000 yards, 11 TDs, 19 INTs and a 63.7 rating and he held out for more money.
21. Atlanta Wolfpack (Stretch)
Atlanta is happy to let Tubbs go to Arizona, but even more happy to have Stretch back. It was a busy offseason for the Wolfpack as they try to get the roster back into got them to 5 CFL Bowl Games in 6 years between 2026-2031. Atlanta had the #1 overall pick in the draft and used it to select Baylor QB Jerald Cowher. They then traded for #2 overall and selected Cowher's college teammate, RB Steven Negron. Get used to these names - you'll be hearing them a lot over the next 10-15 years. Atlanta is rebuilding, so don't expect the playoffs just yet. But it won't be long, as Cowher and Negron aren't the only playmakers on the roster. 2nd year DT J.R. Myers looks like a premier run stuffer despite being undersized at 6'2", 272 lbs.
22. Boise Stampede (General Mike)
If these were defense rankings then Boise would be #2 instead of #22. Wow, look at that defense! Rookie CB Josh Van Pelt looks like a shutdown corner. So you gotta throw away from his side, but then there's CB Heath Lynch. Ok, throw over the middle. Oops, that's where SS Jim Wilcox lives. Wilcox missed 6 games due to a head injury last season, but is back healthy again. OLB Joseph Holliday was 1st team OLB last year. DE Herb Money is a superb pass rusher. DT Lamont Gardner gets it done in the middle. Seriously, give this team a MLB and wow, that's some defense. But as good as their defense looks, their offense looks equally as bad. I wonder what team scrimmages look like in Boise? I see WR Leroy Montalto is there, but otherwise, the Boise offense has to have someone decent, don't they? Looking....still looking....nope, they don't. And that's why they are #22 and not #2.
23. Iowa City Soldiers (Hoosier)
Coming in at #23 is Iowa City - the only team that has never won a single playoff game in the history of the CFL. I have to mention that because it won't be true for much longer. QB Kendall McCarthy is going to get it done - he has improved each year and now in year 4 he's ready to take the team to a new level and a playoff berth. The Soldiers added an exciting runner in the draft, RB Kenny Sanders, and have a pair of good 2nd year WRs in Carlos Dawkins and Jeff Terry. This is an offense in which the best years are yet to come. Another 2nd year guy I like on this team is CB Doug Lykins - he's a playmaker.
24. Oregon Ice (TLK)
QB Warren Newsome left Oregon to be the backup in Hartford. Still in Oregon is QB Rico Lynn who has a cap cost of over $65 million (the highest total in the league by $19 million!). WR Gino Wynn is putting up record setting numbers - 455 catches for over 5,600 yards in his first 4 seasons. Oregon better sign him to a long term deal - imagine what he'd get on the free agent market!? On defense, 2nd year CB Moe Vanderlaan is officially the league's fastest man with a blazing 4.28 40-yard dash time. Rookie CB Rickey Benitez is a deceptively hard hitter despite being only 5'7".
25. New Orleans Raging Horde (Meatholes)
At #25 is New Orleans. They last won a playoff game in the 2022 season. This team is kinda like #22 Boise - they have lots of defensive talent, but not much on the offensive side. MLB Rondell Cormier had 110 tackles last year and could have more this season. CB Lonnie Megorden is in the last year of his rookie contract and should get a big payday soon. But modern football is about the passing game and the quarterback. QB Gerald Griffith was picked #20 overall in 2036 and went 2-8 in 10 starts as a rookie. I like Griffith, but he doesn't have much talent around him so things will be difficult again this year.
26. St. Louis Torpedoes (W23)
St. Louis fans have been waiting for 21 years to watch their team make the playoffs. It might not happen this season, but things are looking up under new ownership. The team allowed QB Marco Boese to leave in free agency and drafted QB Richard McCormick at #11 overall. McCormick has the best LT in the league protecting him, LT Joseph Bradford. The Torpedoes have 9 players on the roster who were top 10 draft picks - easily the most on one team in the entire league. Four of those guys were #2 overall (OTs Bradford and Sam Couture, DT Christian Robbins, and WR Myron Goodwin).
27. Anchorage Anchors (jley618)
Anchorage franchised their QB, Donnell Fields, who will make over $20 million in his 13th year. If Fields can find a way to get the ball to WR Jerald Francis (last year's 1st round pick) and let him break some big plays then this team has a chance to win the Ring of Ice division. That's right - a potential division winner ranked #27. These rankings don't really mean much, do they? Know what else probably doesn't mean much? Rookie SS Norbert Finley is 25 years old, went to Columbia, and has low intelligence (22). Sorry, I don't really know what to say about Anchorage.
28. Albany Crows (thater)
Thater is back so let the draft pick trading begin! Oh wait, it already has started. Albany owned the #2 overall draft pick but traded it to Atlanta. Then they traded down again all the way to 2.30 and 2.31 and selected a pair of defensive backs. Next year they have two 1sts and two 2nds. QB Rondell Whiting was a #2 overall selection in 2027 but doesn't have the accuracy to make it in the CFL. Well, he accurately throws it to the other team - 10 straight double digit interception seasons. That's gotta be worth something, eh? Well, last year it was worth over $100 million for 4 more years.
29. Ohio Sentries (Joab101)
Ohio is probably much better than this - maybe this will be locker room bulletin board material that the team can laugh at when they are in the playoffs this year. This team went 1-31 in 2034 and 2035 and then won 4 games (and tied 1) last year. They should win more this season. SS Harold King (#1 overall pick) was Defensive Rookie of the Year and may challenge Durham MLB Charles Shepard for the CFL's most feared defensive player. 3rd year QB Roy Ellard started 10 games last season and should beat out 2nd year QB Adrian Weaver for the starting job. The Sentries drafted RB Korey Hartley at #6 overall (he ran a 4.29 in the 40) and then decided to trade away RB Gino Kelley. Hartley is clearly the future in Ohio. But it can't be good when your best WR is an undrafted guy who has never started a game. Korey Triplett caught 30 balls last year and dropped 8. Ugh.
30. El Paso Rockets (JeeberD)
El Paso is way down at #30, but I can tell you that I'm wrong - they should be higher. 29th at least. LBs Walter Josephson and Troy Beauchamp are possibly the best linebacking pair in the game. But they don't really have a 3rd linebacker. Maybe they plan on playing a lot of nickel. Hmmm, they don't have a 3rd cornerback. Or a 2nd cornerback actually. And their 1st cornerback is named Billy Joe...
31. Honolulu Blue Pacific (MrBug708)
Speaking of Billy Joe, here's Honolulu at #31, avoiding dead last in these meaningless rankings. The game rates Honolulu and Baltimore as equally bad in terms of talent, and both teams are clearly rebuilding, but Honolulu is closer to building a winner. They already have the league's next great LB: Sherman Schultz (drafted #4 overall this year). Actually, the defense looks pretty good - CB Britt Perkins has 23 picks over the past 3 seasons (3-time all-league 1st team cornerback). But as I've said before, this is about offense and quarterbacks, and Honolulu doesn't have one. 6th rounder Levon Gregory went 3-12 in his rookie season and projects more as a backup than a starter. Expect a high draft position for these guys next year.
32. Baltimore Bombers (THIS TEAM NEEDS AN OWNER)
And finally #32 of 32, Baltimore. What happened to this team? They made the playoffs every year between 2028 and 2035, went 3-13 last year, and will be lucky to match that this season. QB Robbie Brewer was sacked 57 times last season, a new CFL record. 1st round draft pick LT Mark Wallace is holding out. Well, they are the youngest team in the CFL (average age = 25.3), but that's what having 24 undrafted rookies (in addition to their 7 draft picks) will do. Yes, you did the math correctly, more than half of their players are rookies.
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